Post Academic

A guide to feeding and caring for your Post Academic (with poll!)

Posted in Absurdities,Ask an Academic by Arnold Pan on May 24, 2010
Tags: , ,

"Trader Joe's Bag" by Francinegirvan (Creative Commons waiver)

Taking another page from the current issue of The New Yorker, we’re repurposing its “humor”–read: smug, smarter-than-thou–piece titled “Your New College Graduate: A Parents’ Guide” to suit our needs, using their questions and coming up with our own kinda answers.  We won’t take ourselves too seriously, since it’s clear from this week’s cover that The New Yorker doesn’t!

What do I feed my Post Academic?

We told you about the Post/Academic’s love of freeloading before, so that’s one source of sustenance.  Otherwise, you should make sure there’s a Trader Joe’s nearby, because they love cheap brie, knock-offs of gourmet brands, and organic fruit in plastic boxes.

Why is my Post Academic so fussy?

If your B.A. is fussy after finishing college and prickly about being asked about what they’re going to do with their very expensive education and four years of “training”, imagine how your Ph.D. feels after many more years of education and accruing more debt on top of those college loans?  Plus, your Post Academic can’t bask in recent memories of camaraderie and youthful indiscretions, since we’ve pretty much critically unpacked and structurally demystified those “sentiments.”  Besides, staff meeting is probably the last time we’ve mingled with any of our peers–unless Facebook counts.  À la The New Yorker, ask your Post Academic these questions to gauge her/his mood–basically, their college grad questionnaire applies almost just as well to Post Academics!  Just don’t expect a direct “Yes/No” response.

More on taking care of your Post Academic below the fold…