Post Academic

Reality Show Quotations to Ban from the Workplace

Can you imagine a similar clip show of student excuses? Oh, delight!

For the weekend, I’m ending this little reality-show jaunt with some reality show bon mots that your students or less clever colleagues might try to utter in an attempt to get out of a jam or a social faux pas:

“I’m not here to make friends.” You better make some friends, snowflake, because you’re gonna need references when you send off your next resume.

“You threw me under the bus!” This isn’t an episode of “Top Chef,” and you’re not going under any actual wheels.

“Next time, I promise I’ll give 110%.” Oh, dear. If you try that, you’re going to spill bodily fluids or strain a muscle. I’ll settle for a passing grade.

And one line that you should never say in an attempt to relate to your students:

“Step up your game.” This usually comes from a clueless host who has not actually participated in the work in which the competitors are engaged. “Step up your game” is a puffy phrase designed to mask an actual critique … but if you said it to a slacker student, maybe he or she would get what you are talking about.

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